Home » The Man Guide: Grilling, Roundhouse Kicks and Charm: Everything You Need to Know about Becoming a Man by Matthew California
The Man Guide: Grilling, Roundhouse Kicks and Charm: Everything You Need to Know about Becoming a Man Matthew California

The Man Guide: Grilling, Roundhouse Kicks and Charm: Everything You Need to Know about Becoming a Man

Matthew California

Published October 1st 2011
ISBN : 9781432779962
Paperback
208 pages
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 About the Book 

SEX! Now that I have your attention, chest hair, Man Cave, grunt call. These are a few of the tools you may acquire throughout your reading of the Man Guide. This book puts you in the shoes of Matthew Californias wingman as you travel through theMoreSEX! Now that I have your attention, chest hair, Man Cave, grunt call. These are a few of the tools you may acquire throughout your reading of the Man Guide. This book puts you in the shoes of Matthew Californias wingman as you travel through the journey that is being a Man.Men, there is a storm coming. Tension in this world is high and at some point, something has got to give. When the time comes, you must be in condition to lead many to safety and stability. I am looking to assemble an army of Men. In order to be a soldier in this army, we need to maximize your MPCI (Man Per Cubic Inch) rating.Upon purchasing this guide, you are getting in the drivers seat toward a destination like none you have experienced. My goal is to boost your existence into something America will be proud of.Over here at Man Guide Manufacturing (just made that up, Im just in my office which is my bedroom), our goal is to make every trip to your bathroom beneficial. Each time you take the seat in the spotlight, it will become a learning experience. Out with the bad, in with the good.A How-To section will help you add a few techniques to your arsenal. This should do the trick to both impress thy brethren as well as the lady friend. We will get a few little grease marks on your t-shirt for good measure. When your tire pops and your car wobbles to the side of the road while grunting and groaning in pain, you will know exactly what to do. You will also have the number of a local babe you know written down in your glove box. She may rub your back and tell you youre smart while you re-gain your Manliness.When asked to write something about this book that would draw in viewers, I was hesitant. While I understand that I need to be proactive in creating an army of Men, I am worried that this information may fall into the wrong hands. With each copy sold, I better my chances of falling victim to being pushed around by a senior citizen. Once many people know how to fend off the elderly, they will undoubtedly evolve and be able to cope with the techniques I teach. I am also worried that with my uncovering of the diarrhea troll fairy that Satan himself will have no choice but to kick the doors in on public restrooms everywhere on his way to making the public bowel movement even more dreadful. While I lose sleep over these happenings, I acknowledge that it is my responsibility to spread all that is Man to all the nooks and corners of this heavenly creation.This book is not in any way a guide to bedding a sweetheart or making six figures in your next assembly line paycheck. This book is a guide to doing basic, everyday activities to the best of your ability. My first advice is to do yourself a favor. Put down your wifes Cats, Cramps, and Candles magazine and order up your copy of the Man Guide. Game on America! Enjoy your findings.-Matthew CaliforniaP.S. Sorry for beginning this letter with such profanity but I find that those three little letters help get peoples attention everywhere. I am not above selling a few copies of this book to perverts across America. Big dogs gotta eat!